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DAMAGED EMOTIONS

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DAMAGED EMOTIONS Empty DAMAGED EMOTIONS

Post  Admin on Mon 21 Feb 2011, 12:16 pm

DAMAGED EMOTIONS

Many people today, even Christians, have scares,
painful hurts from the past that do not surface until later on in
life. Oftentimes people suffering from damaged emotions
find it difficult to get through life without being angry or bitter.

Some Examples of "damaged emotions" are:
Small boy rushes downstairs on Christmas morning only to discover dirt inhis stocking
and no presents under the tree. His stepfather and motherdecided he
was too bad a boy during the year to get anything. That small boy (who
was only being a boy after all) takes that with him the rest of
hislife. That hurt feeling, that sense of loss, stays with him
forever.

Another example: a young girl is raped repeatedly by a relative or
friend. She never quite gets over it and it surfaces later on in
life.The result is a life of anger, bitterness, pain, and an
inability to feel loved or to show love, especially to another man.
She doesn't trust men. She has been scarred for life. Another example:
a young girl is told repeatedly by her mother that she is lazy, good
for nothing, she will never amount to anything, etc. That girl takes
that with her the rest of her life as well and she grows up
thinking all of that about herself. She works harder in life trying to
prove that to be a lie.

Another example: The young girl or boy is constantly running after
an alcholic father takes that memory and buries it, many times doesn't
surface for a long time. Some times these memories are Repressed and do
not surface until later on in life. These things directly and deeply
affect our concepts, our feelings, our attitude, our relationships.
They affect the way we look at life and God, at others, and even
ourselves.

What are results of some of these damaged emotions? One of the most
common is a deep sense of UNWORTHINESS, a continuous feeling of
anxiety, in adquacyand inferiority, an inner nagging that says, "I'm
no good. I'll never amount to anything. No one could ever possibly
love me. Everything I say and everything I do is wrong." There is a
lack of self-confidence. What happens to this kind of person when
he/she becomes a christian? Part of their mind believes in God's
love, accepts God's forgiveness and feels at peace for awhile. Then
all of a sudden, everything within him rises up to cry out, "it's a
lie!". They really don't believe that God could possibly love them. It
surfaces. They believe no one really CARES. They have a hard time
believing first that anyone loves them, and second that anyone could
possibly love them, for they are "unworthy". They have this sense of
unworthiness. They have built-up ANGER inside of them as well. Here's
a classic example of "not good enough".

A young boy tries to win his mother's approval by setting the table.
Rather than gently telling him what a good job he's done, however,
the forks are on the wrong side, she scolds him. So he tries again
the next night. Only this time, the spoons are on the wrong side.
After that it would be the salad plates. He could never please her
and never get it right. She never tells him she is proudof him. Try
as hard as he might, he could never please his father either.He would
bring home his report card with all C's. His dad looked at the card
and said, "billy if you try harder you could get B's." So Billy
triesharder and get's all B's. Instead of showing pride in his
improvement, thefather simply says, "Billy if you can get all B's,
you can get all A'S". He needs that approval, so try harder Billy
does. This time he does improve,he's older, and he gets all A's. His
father looks at the card and says, Iknow these teachers. They give
everyone an A. Billy feels let down. A senseof loss. He was hoping
his father would be proud, instead, Billy suffersyet another
rejection. No love shown to him. No "I'm proud of you son" thatBilly
had hoped for. What has happened to poor Billy? He has found that he
can NEVER please his father no matter how hard he tries. Does he quit
trying? No, he goes through life always trying to prove himself.
Working harder than he should, trying to get the approval that never
comes. Well Billy decides to go into ministry. What he has done now
is he has exhangedone mother and father whom he cannot please no
matter what, and exchanged them for a whole congregation of
unpleasable people whom he can never please.
He preaches too short; he preaches too long; the song service istoo
loud; etc, etc.

There is another kind of damaged emtoion that we call "super
sensitivity" . The supersensitive personal has usually been hurt
deeply. He/she is scarred. He/she reached out for love and approval
and affection, but did not get it, instead, got the opposite and has
deep scars inside. Sometime she/she sees things other people don't
see and tends to feel things otherpeople don't. They feel inadquate,
not good enough, thinks everyone aroundthem is "against them". Is
ofetentimes paranoid. Thinks nobody REALLY lovesthem. Can't believe
anyone does.They find it hard to keep a friendship. Along with that
we have "supersensitive" people, which basically is thesame as super
sensitivity. One such person was Charlie. Charlie walkstoward you and
you are in a rush and so instead of taking the time withCharlie you
usual take because of your own busy schedule and lack of time,you
simply say "hi Charlie can't talk now" and keep on going. That
personwill tell another person, and the other persone lets you know
either byphone, email, or whatever, that Charlie called wanting to
know if you aremad at them. At first you are taken aback. You like
Charlie. Why wouldCharlie think you were angry with him? Just because
you were extremely busyand had no time to "talk" with him, he
immediately assumed, because of hisown inadequacies, that you were
angry with him. Charlie can't help feelingthat way. He has damaged
emotions. Then there is the paranoid person. The one who thinks
everyone is talking about them behind their back.

Supersensitive people need a lot of approval.You can never quite give
them enough of your time. They have their defenses up so they spend
their lives pushing people away, hurting them, trying to control
them.

Another damaged emotion is one filled with fear. They fear failure.
These damaged persons are so afraid of everything and fear that
people reallydon't love them.When the Apostle Paul wrote his first
epistle to the Corinthians, he dealt with every imaginable kind of
human problem and some which are almost unimaginable. He talked about
quarrels, party splits, court cases,property disuptes and various
kinds of sexual difficulty from incest to prostitution. He talked
about premarital relations ahd marital relations and post marital
relations He wrote about widowhood, divorce,vegetariani sm, getting
drunk at the Communion table, spekaing in tongues,death, funerals,
taking up offerins and conducting an everymember canvassin the
church. But he began his letter by saying he was not going to
knowanything among them except "Jesus Christ and Him crucified" (1
Corin 2:2).This means our Gospel is mot practical and gets right donw
to whee we live.Much of Pauls' letter had to do with damaged
emotions.

SOLUTIONS TO DAMAGED EMOTIONS.
1. FACE your problem squarely. But honest and with God's grace
confrontthat awful, hidden, hurtful childhood that is haunting you
day and night.Acknowledge it to yourself. Tell someone else. James
5:16 -"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another,
that ye maybe healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man
availeth much".Don't miss INNER HEALING because you are afraid to
face what happened toyou in the past.

2. ACCEPT your responsibiity. Even though you are the victim, you
were theinjured party, you have to accept responsibility for any
future wrongdoing.For example, if you were raped as a child, then as
a teen willfully had sexwithout benefit of marriage you are
responsible for that action. You cannotblame your wilful action on
the abuse you had previously. People in thiscategory need to learn to
accept responsibility for their own actions.

3. WANT TO BE HEALED. Damaged emotions require healing. Do you want
to behealed? John 5:6. Do you really want to be healed of that hurt
or do youwant to carry around with you like a hangbag and talk about
it? do you wantto use your problem to get sympathy from others? Do
you want to use it as acrutch? Ask God to heal you! He will.

4. FORGIVE. Uh Oh. This is a hard. WAIT! Are you telling me I have
toforgive that one that hurt me so, that abused me, used me, caused
me somuch pain??? Yes I am telling you that. That's exactly what you
have todo. You have to confess it. Confess it to the Father. "Father
I ask you inJesus name to help me to forgive that one that hurt me so
long ago" (or notso long ago). You NEED to confess forgiveness for
that one that hurt you.Facing responsiblity and forgivng peope are
really two sides on the samecoin. There is no healing without
forgiveness. God wilol heal your damagedemotion, but you must forgive
first.

5. FORGIVE YOURSELF. Uh Oh. A hard one here. Stop blaming yourself!
Forgive yourself. So many Christians say, "Yes I know that God has
forgivenme, but I can't forgive myself". You must forgive yourself
even though youare the innocent victim. Don't hold a grudge against
yourself. Sometimes itis easy to forgive others, but hard to forgive
ourselves. Don't blameyourself for what happened to you. 6. ASK THE
HOLY SPIRIT TO SHOW YOUR REAL PROBLEM - He will show you how topray.
Paul said that we don't pray beause we don't know how (Romans 8:26).
There is the fearsome foursome. Guilt, resentment, strife, anxiety.
These 4 produce stress, conflict, and all sorts of emotional
problems.

There is no forgiveness from God for our sins unless we freely
forgiveothers. Let all anger, resentment, guilt, anxiety go. Damaged
emotions causes ANGER. Anger that we carry with us throughout
ourlives. Many have built-up anger in them from things that happened
to themas a child. ANGER is a root problem that has to be "rooted
out". Prayer will help there. Anger will eat you up inside if you
don't let it go. It is a strong and bitter emotion. The word ANGER in
the Greek is "Orge", originally any natural impulse or desire or
dispostion came to signify anger. Ephesiands4: 131; Col. 3:8; 1 Tim.
2:8; James 1:19. As you are reading this, do you recognize yourself
yet???Are you one of these people? If you are, I have good news for
you. JESUS LOVES YOU and HE CARES. You have God's approval if you
have accepted Him as Lord and Savior in your life and you are trying
your best to walk in His ways.You want to get rid of your anger? your
guilt? your resentment? Anxiety? Ask the Lord to heal you. Ask the
Lord to help you forgive those who hurtyou in the past. Then you will
be free from DAMAGED EMOTIONS.
Theresa Q. Pavone,A.TH, B.TH
Admin
Admin
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Posts : 58965
Join date : 2008-10-25
Age : 74
Location : Wales UK

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