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Some amusing things children said.

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Some amusing things children said. Empty Some amusing things children said.

Post  Admin Sun 26 Feb 2012 - 21:46

Jesus said, "Let the little children come
to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such
is the kingdom of heaven."
( Matthew 19:14 *NKJV )

Children are a gift from God, and hold a special place
in our hearts. And as any parent knows, out of the mouths
of babes come amazing things! So today we will take a
look at what children have said, however this time it was
said in Church. Now I hope that you laugh as hard as I did
when I first read these, so let us begin.......

A little child in church for the first time watched as the
ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the
pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone
could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
____________ _________ _____

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the
service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a
man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin
was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do
you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have
to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse,
4 richer, 4 poorer."
____________ _________ ____

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy
suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to
become a Pastor when I grow up." "That's okay with us,
but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little
boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I
figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit
and listen."
____________ _________ ____

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at
a church service:
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed trash against us."
____________ _________ ____

A boy was watching his father, a Pastor, write a
sermon." How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep
crossing things out?"
____________ _________ ____

A little girl became restless as the Preacher's sermon
dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother
and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now,
will he let us go?"
____________ _________ ____

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little
Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the
car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That Priest said he wanted us
brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with
you guys!"
____________ _________ ____

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of
their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's
picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she
asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The
flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see ... And that must be
Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's
the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot.
____________ _________ ____

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell
me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir,"
little Johnny replies, "I don't have to, my Mom is a good
cook."
____________ _________ ___

A college drama group presented a play in which one
character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I
descend into hell!" A stagehand below would then pull a
rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would
plunge through. The play was well received. When the
actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was
quite overweight took his place. When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the
rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became
hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could
make him descend. One student in the balcony jumped
up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
____________ _________ ___

Pastor Dave tells us, "After a worship service at First
Baptist Church in a city in Kentucky, a mother with a
fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her
son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the
sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be
quiet, Pastor Dave is going to lose his place and will have
to start his sermon all over again!' "It worked."
____________ _________ ____

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather' s lap as he read
her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take
her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled
cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek,
then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God
make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made
me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did
God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God
made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective
faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't
he?"

Now that should have started your day with
a good laugh indeed! Therefore have a wonderful Day
and may God Bless You! Amen.
Admin
Admin
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