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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 7:43 pm

From: Bertie2006 (Original Message) Sent: 03/11/2007 13:46

As some will know and others wont, i walked away from the church at an young age, still in school.

I thought that i had put God out of my life, i did not believe, but through my life i did not realise how God had kept in touch with me without me realising it.

The one way i have only now noticed, when still in school like all Catholics i had to choose a confirmation name, this name as you all know was my choice but would not appear on any document, it was mine and Gods.

Years after i turned my back on the Lord i left school, and set about making a life for myself, this included all the things we take as normal, setting up utility bills, bank accounts, getting a passport and everything else you need to prove your identity,on each and everyone of these documents like all i would have to place my signiture, normally you would expect that to be the name that appears on your birth certificate, i have spent the morning going through some old documents, and on each and every one i have found that although i did not have to place it i have inserted my confirmation name why i do not know, i started to think back to when i left school and realised that right from the outset i had been using this name,my indentures for when i became a apprentice, my enrolment in the forces, my first savings account my passport and all other documents.

I believe this now to have been a God thing, i might have turned my back on the Father, but he had not turned away from me, he was telling me i will give you time my son, and when the time is right i will be there for you, until then i wont leave your side.

Father you never cease to amaze me.
Love From Your Bertie


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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 7:47 pm

From: Bertie2006 Sent: 25/03/2008 00:30

On my way back from church today i met an old friend, i have not seen him in years, he told me that he had been told that i had become a Christian.

We sat on a bench in town and started to go over the past, he suddely asked me what type of Christian am i, this took me by suprise i had never given this any thought, i asked him what he ment by the question, he said are you Catholic,Baptist or another and am i in his words a Bible Basher.

I assured him with my memory i was not a Bible Basher, and i am a Catholic, when we parted this question was still running through my mind, what type of Christian am i.

I decided to find out more, and this evening i went to a Baptist church that i attend for fellowship. I spoke to the Pastor and told him of the question i had been asked and told him i had been a bit baffled by it,but it had raised the question within me of what am i.
He explained it this way, (i had to take notes less i forget).

There are three different types of person.

The Natural Person ("the man without the spirit"0-1 Corinthians 2:14 & Ephesians 2:1-3

This describes someone who is not yet a Christian:
pyysically alive but spiritually dead
seperated from God
living independently from God
lives in the flesh; actions and choices dictated by the flesh (Corinthians 5:19-21)
has no spiritual basis for coping with life's stresses
The Spiritual Person 1 Corinthians 2:15

The normal state for a Christian:

has been transformed through faith in Christ
spirit is now united with God's Spirit
has recieved;
- forgivness

- acceptance in God's family

-realisation of worth in Christ

recieves impetus from God's Spirit instead of the flesh
is renewing the mind (ie getting rid of old patterns of thinking and replacing them with truth)
emotions marked by joy and peace instead of turmoil
chooses to walk in the Spirit ( Galatians 5:22,23)
still has the flesh but crucifies it daily as he/she recognises the truth that he/she is now dead to sin (Romans 6:11-14)
"His devine power has given us everything we need for life and Godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness" (2 Peter 1:3).

The Fleshly Person - 1 Corinthians 3:3

A Christian who has been made spiritually alive but, instead of choosing to follow the impulses of the Spirit, follows the impulses of the flesh

His daily life tends to mimic that of the natural (non Christian) person rather than the spiritual person:

mind occupied by wrong thoughts
emotions plagued by negative feelings
body showing signs of stress
feelings of inferiority, insecurity, inadequacy, guilt, worry and doubt
Well have to realy look at this, i know that i started at The Natural Person, and i know that i have been The Fleshly Person on my journey, but after the walk i have been on this last few months i would now have to place myself more in the Spiritual person bracket than the Natural ortheFleshly.

Thats not bragging or my ego that is the point i now feel the Lord has brought me to, still a long way to go yet, may never reach the end of the road, but as the hippies used to say,"man what a trip".



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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 7:49 pm

From: Bertie2006 (Original Message) Sent: 31/01/2008 23:48

is it possable to dream when still awake, last night before bed i read John 10 (Jesus the True Shepherd), after finishing i sat with my eye's closed thinking over what i had read, i know i was not asleep i could hear the cars in the street and the pump on my fish tank.

After a few minutes i had the strange feeling that i was standing up, and when i looked down at my chair i was still sat there holding my bible, i turned to the side and saw a light and started to move towards it, i say move because i was not walking.

I soon came to the light and when i entered i found myself in a lush green valley all alone, i moved through the grass for some time but could not find anyone, i was getting scarred i was lost.

Then i heard a voice calling my name in the distance and i started to move towards it, pretty soon i saw a figure in the distance and started to move faster towards him, when i got closer i could see it was the Jesus of my youth (as i had imagined him to be).

He was stood in front of me looking down at me, then i realised i was no longer a man but a small boy, he spoke my name like i had never heard it spoken before and stretched out his hand to me, i took hold of his hand and we started walking, we were laughing and talking for a long time.

Soon we were nearing the top of the hill, there was a door there, just a closed door, as we got nearer the door slowly started to open, when we reached the door it was fully open.

Jesus turned to me smiled and said my name again, then he told me to go through the door your Father is waiting and he released my hand, i did not want to leave him, but he said he would be with me soon, then i went through the door.

I was back in my chair still holding my bible.

This to me was not a dream, this was my Father telling me i was once lost but now i am found.


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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 7:53 pm

From: Bertie2006 Sent: 31/01/2008 23:50

Thank you Elaine that is very nice to know, that means a lot to me.

Last week i was informed that i was to be seconded to another place of work, this meant that i would not see my clients for at least 2 months, on Tuesday night my last night at the hostel i went round to say good bye to my clients, then i had 5 days of and was due to start at the other hostel today.

I was contacted over the weekend and told that i would not be going until later in the month, so i turned up at the hostel as normal today, one of my clients a young pregnant woman that has we know had a very bad life but never been able to talk about it to anyone, came to see me she told me that she was upset that i was leaving and felt that i was the onlyone she could talk to, then she opened up, not a nice story, but now i have her trust, she has agreed to come with me tomorrow to a local Christian councelling service with there help maybe she can finaly put her demons to rest.

That trust is the nicest thing anyone has ever given me.
Thank you Lord for making this happen.


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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 7:56 pm

Since my waking vision things have really changed for me, i have rekindled old Christian friendships and even made new ones.

I believe the Lord has been working overtime on me this last four weeks, i was taken out of my comfort zone and sent to work in a differant more troubled place, although i was not happy about going and if honest a bit scarred, i myself was not to strong at this time, but the Lord gave me a choice so i went with him.

At first people where friendly but distant, they treated me as an outsider or rather a spy, i decided the best way was to get to know them better as indaviduals, so i set about this task.

As time went on i have become quite friendly with all but two of the team, sadly one of them is a Christian, i think this may be that i see him has i used to be, Christian by name only a massive ego, had to talk over everyone else and of course always right, no love in my eyes no compassion, always negative.

I have been told by my perminant boss that my temp boss and most of the team want me to stay with them, they tell me i am good for the team, good at my job, i tell them i am only the cup, It is God through the Holy Spirit that they can now see working, when did i lose my ego.

There is another young Christian working there (very mature) a young lady in her twentys who was born again about 3 years ago, after an unsettled family life, a drug habit, she was saved on the streets of Tennerrefe (is that spelt right) what an insperation she has been, she is constantly booking weeks off to go to some other country to do missonary work, she is an active member of Teen Challenge, and has now started to set about the local churches to set up a night shelter.

Now that i am again a non smoker i have taken her lead and will be joining the Teen Challenge this week on there night bus, i have also pledged my support to her and her church to give up some of my time towards setting up and running there night shelter, who says we cannot learn from the young.

Like my friend Elaine said before she felt God was taking me to a new passage of life with him, when in church this morning it was quite a nice day cloudy and breaking sunshine, i had been praying on these things, the sun broke through the clouds and came pouring through the stained glass window straight on to me, just as we stated singing the final hymn.

I Saw The Grass

I saw the grass, i saw the trees and the boats upon the shore
I saw the shapes of many things i had only sensed before
And i saw the faces of men more clearly
Than if i had never been blind
The lines of envy around there lips
And the greed and the hate in there eyes
And i turned away - yes i turned away
For i had seen the perfect face of a real and proper man
The man who brought me from the dark
Into light where life began.

I hurried then away from town to a quiet lonely place
I found a clear unruffled pool
And i gazed upon my face
And i saw the image of me more clearly
Than if i had never been blind
The line of envy around the lips
And the greed and the hate in the eyes
And i turned away - yes i turned away
For i had seen the perfect face of a real and proper man
The man who brought me from the dark
Into light where life began.

I made my way into the town to the busy, crowded streets
The shops and stalls and alley-ways
To the squalor and the heat
And i saw the faces of men more clearly
Than if i had never been blind
The lines of sorrow around there lips
And the child looking out from their eyes
And i turned to them - yes i turned to them
Remembering the perfect face of a real and proper man
The man who brought me from the dark
Into light, where life began.

Coincidence i dont believe, the Father telling me to go ahead that i believe.


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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 7:57 pm

From: Bertie2006 Sent: 10/04/2008 13:15
Hello all,
March the 27th March my birthday, i recieved many a gift that i shall treasure the rest of my life, especialy the ones that i recieved from members of this group, the Lord Truely Blessed me with such kind, loving friends.

But none of these gifts can hold a light up to the one i recieved from the Lord that day.

My oldest daughter Hannah came to see me with her partner, how i hate that word, i long for the day i can say her husband, she also brought my two grandchildren with her, the youngest being 8, young Kye, a truely remarkable young man that seems to include his family in everything he does, some may say spoilt, i see it as wanting to share everything with those he loves and holds dear, he is a happy full of the joys of life and willing to take on any task given to him.

My daughters as i have said before are not Christian, i believe that they know there is something but at the moment they cannot accept God, i have been searching and seaking a way to bring the Lord Jesus to them, but have up untill the 27th March failed.

When they arrived i had just finished posting, and was in the process of shutting down my computer, young Kye came over and looked at the wallpaper i had on my
desktop it was this one,his next question stunned me a little when he asked who that was.

I explained to him that this was Jesus, to which he replied no it is not, Jesus was a baby, i sat with him explaining that Jesus had now grown up , and he was such a loving person that he let himself die on the cross to save all, and this was a picture of Jesus rising from the dead and going up to heaven to be with God his Father.

I have an old Bible that was given to me by a dear friend when i started my walk with Jesus, because i was a new Christian, it was a Rainbow Good News Bible for older children (believe me i have progressed and just keep this Bible in memory of a deep friendship).

Young Kye wanted to take it home with him, but because of the sentimental value and it being for older children, i told him no but i would buy him one, the next day i went out and bought him one, more in keeping with his years, well illistrated and took this to him.

Since then i have learned that Kye picks up his bible and sits looking through it regulary, but more important, has i have said he likes to include all in his life, he asks his mother, father, and sister to read the Bible for him.

Through him the Lord has given me great joy knowing now that Jesus is speaking in at least one of my daughters lives, even if they do not fully know it yet.

Thank You Lord


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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 7:59 pm

From: Bertie2006 Sent: 18/05/2008 16:20
Back in January this year, the old Bertie started to dissappear, going was the EGO, going was the Anger, going was the thoughtlesness, i was on the road back to Jesus again.

All was going great, some mistakes along the way, but everything seemed posative, two weeks ago i decided that i would not spend the rest of my life taking the anti depresant tablets that i have been taking for the past two years, so i stopped.

Over the last two weeks, the old Bertie has been creeping back, he had not gone just suppressed, i had no idea he was coming back until today, so i checked back on some posts over the last two weeks about jo's treatment, and others i found they were not only raising anger, that would not be to bad, even Jesus got angry, but i felt rage a wanting to hurt, not just them but myself also.

Like i said i did not see this creeping up on me until today, over the last week i have sent emails to an old friend when rereading them today after speaking to them this morning, they were negative, there was anger, there was ego, this person did not deserve this treatment, they do nothing in life but work for others, when i spoke to them and they told me what had been going on in there life for the past 6 months i felt rage again, i felt hatred i felt contempt, not for them but for me, even with all that goes on in there lives they continue to work and think of others.

I could not even be there to offer support to them in there hour of need, i could not even pray for them because of the way we parted company 6months ago i did not know they needed prayer and support, thats a great Christian attitude (not).

I now know what effect coming off those tablets is having on me, i have no intention of going back to them, i dont want to spend my life dependant on them, and i know The Lord will help me, i think He did today by getting me to contact this old friend (even though it was for my own selfish reasons) and for them to tell me to check myself out.

So if over next few weeks if you see me acting Un-Christian please tell me, help me get back to where i was a few weeks ago.

Although this is not a Testimony, i wanted to place it somewhere that i could look back on to see what a stupid, egoistic, person i could be.


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Post  Bertie on Mon 08 Dec 2008, 8:00 pm

From: Missy Sent: 08/10/2008 09:51
Dear Bertie,

You tell the truth as it should be told, you don't dress it up or beat about the bush, you just say it. This is a very admirable thing in you, your posts are real and a pleasure to read. God will bring your family back. I have 6 brothers and sisters who all have wife/husbands/partner (one sis is single with 2 sons)etc, they all got kids and not one of them are saved, not even my parents, so I know what it feels like, sometimes you feel powerless, and other times I feel so frustrated at them for being so blind, but thats the way satan wants them to be.
I was taking anti-depressants this time last year as Id been through the mill last spring/summer, to be honest I didnt feel much better on them, then in October I went to a meeting in London and this guy laid hands on me and prayed for me, and I really felt God say afterwards "No more tablets" and you know what? I remember feeling so pleased because I truly thought this meant he had taken away all the bad feeling, but he hadn't, it actually got worse, much worse. The very next evening I was praying and asking the Lord "you told me not to take this medicine but i really need it" etc, I didnt even wean myself off, just totally stopped!
Last christmas was one of the worst periods of my life (depression wise). I kept praying "Lord, I am not taking this medicine because I believe you told me not to but cannot survive on my own strength". Then one day in the early months of 2008 the feeling just lifted, it was amazing, I had more confidence, felt more positive etc, and we decided to have another baby which you know I lost 4 weeks ago, but I feel strengthened and am going to keep ploughing on, Im totally walking in FAITH, if I wasn't born again I dont know where Id be right now, and I know maybe you & many others reading this feel the same at times. I believe God was building my trust in him (and still is), and saying I'll be your crutch in troubled times, lean on me and I will help you, and I did, and he did.
We had financial problems and God ridded us of 25,000 debt, and we didn't go bankrupt, my credit score better than it has ever been. We serve a true God, a God that won't fail us, no matter what the enemy tells us God is bigger and stronger and more powerful than he. God tests our faith, but he loves us, he wouldnt do it if he didnt. I am going to pray for you Bertie and your family. Your a great guy! God bless you.

Love & Prayers Missy.


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