PEACE FROM A PAINFUL PAST

Admin Sat 08 Nov 2008, 1:03 am

PEACE FROM A PAINFUL PAST
by Melanie Schurr

I know a woman who was abused as a child; regularly beaten by an
alcoholic father. This same woman is now a grandmother, and she
has yet to find peace with her past. For her, life seems void of joy,
and each day dredges up painful reminders of her abusive childhood.

Decades of therapy and medication have done nothing to heal her
deepest emotional wounds because she permits them to exist every
time she entertains thoughts of them, and asks her self the same
round of unanswerable questions such as, "Why me?" "Why didn't I
fight back or tell someone?" "Why did God allow this to happen?"

Little does this woman know that each time she punishes herself
emotionally with these questions, she is allowing herself to be a
victim again and again. Her alcoholic father is now deceased, but
the abuse continues, and this time, it is by her own invitation. There
is a time to make peace with the past, there is also a time to let go
of it when its burdens become too heavy to bear. We must give
ourself permission to let go, and to have no regrets in doing so.

Only we can determine what is emotionally and spiritually more
healthy to do regarding our past. Using my own life as an example,
there are bits of my past I have had to let go and bury, and there
is the majority I have simply made peace with. Burying the pieces
of one's past which are too painful to hold on to is not a denial of
the past, but a positive step toward healing and happiness. If we
are to have peace and joy in life, we must be free of those things
which weigh us down, and this includes the effect of refusal to
forgive those who have not lived up to our expectations.

Before we can make peace with the past, we must we willing to
offer forgiveness where it is needed regardless if it is or isn't asked
for. Forgiveness is not something we only do for others, we do it for
ourself sothat we can begin our own healing. The refusal to forgive
allows bitterness, resentment, anger and hatred to fester in one's
heart, and this is not only spiritually and emotionally unhealthy, but
may also cause physical ailments related to stress.

All these negative emotions serve to further zap happiness from our life, so if our goal is to bring peace and joy in, then we must be willing to do everything possible to make sure it can reach us and not be hindered by any roadblocks. Chances are, in my own life, I will never fully understand my childhood, but who says it is necessary to do so?

Do we (really) completely understand what makes roses red, and what makes birds fly south for winter? Do we know why some people have diseases and some don't? So, even with this lack of complete
understanding, we must learn to make peace with the limitations of
our own knowledge, and place our trust in the hands of God.

When we learn to make peace with the past, a wonderful benefit is
that this ability begins to run over in to our daily life. Grudges are no
longer carried as long, frustration is sooner vented, and forgiveness
is more easily distributed. Even our ability to clearly communicate
emotions becomes strengthened, and thus, helping to peacefully end
minor disagreements or misunderstandings. So you see, being a
peacemaker, whether it be towards the past or present, is, in actuality, a gift to ourself. If we allow pride to prevent peace from reaching us, then the person most negatively affected will be us.

If someone in your life needs forgiving, even if that someone is YOU, call out to God and ask Him to show you a better way.

Contributed by Melanie Schurr, Daily Wisdom
Copyright © 1998 Melanie Schurr