Focus on Depression

From: Dunggate Sent: 30/10/2005 20:55
Thank you Gilly and Kandy for covering so much of how depression can effect even us as Christians, yes I too have been to those depths once as a non Christian where I tried to take my life and about 13 years ago when I contemplated taking my life. This time it was a definate spiritual battle with the devil who planted in my mind to do it. It had been a long struggle fighting off the depression through circumstances in my life when I had a whisper go on do it, I battled and thought no I can't leave Paul behind he would have no one, then the devil said do him aswell, it was the scariest experience of my life. I rushed to the Church and two were loving and prayed with me but it was God who kept me.
I cannot share all the details her it would be better posted on the appropriate board of Share and Support so hopefully it will be of benefit to others.
Love in Jesus Elaine.

From: kandyzkisses Sent: 30/10/2005 17:24
To give a short answer, yes, I believe a Christian can become depressed. I've been there and it's not nice, I think too that when we're Christians and we get depressed we tend to have a good dose of guilt thrown into the mix too which doesn't help, both of our own doing and by others... you know.. people saying "oh pull yourself together, rely on Christ, He'll heal you.. feeling like that is a choice." Well, you know, sometimes it isn't our choice, yes there are some people who sadly seem to like being unhappy all the time, but that's not the same as being depressed. Depression can be a chemical imbalance as well as emotional, it really annoys me when I see people telling a depressed person to "snap out of it"... when it's true depression it's not that easy.

We have to be very careful in how we speak with a person suffering from depression, it has to be done gently and with wisdom, recovery does take time... illnesses of the mind take longer to heal in a Christian because our old adversary gets in there, and he'll be delighted that we're feeling this way, many times the person who's suffering is fully aware of this but doesn't know how to get out of it, and again well meaning people can unknowingly heap on huge piles of guilt. Yes Christ can heal us, but if a person is suffering from depression there's a whole load of other stuff that comes with it, huge feelings of guilt, worthlessness, hopelessness so they may not even approach the Throne to ask for healing. This is where a circle of good, well grounded, gentle, caring Christian friends can be so so helpful. Speaking from personal experiences with depression I can say in all honesty that in regard to the Gifts of the Spirit, a person with the gift of mercy is most useful in this area, what's needed is gentleness, compassion and a person willing to listen and not judge or condemn, the last thing a Christian suffering from depression needs to hear is that it's because there's some great, huge unforsaken sin in their lives etc.... etc.... etc.... Yes, any sin needs to be dealt with before we can truly find and keep our freedom and joy in Christ but that goes for us all, and as I said before with depression it takes much gentleness, wisdom and guidance from a person who can come alongside and genuinely love the person through it.

Well, I'm sorry I didn't mean to write a dissertation, it's just that this is a subject that's affected me personally so I tend to give as much info as I can to try and help others to see what someone who is suffering from depression REALLY needs.

Adding this from a stray Board of ours in MSN
From: Missy (Original Message) Sent: 30/10/2005 13:22
Dear members,
Im sure you will all agree that this is a very sensitive issue, but also very important. Plesae think carefully before you add anything to this thread as there may well be people suffering from depression or who have done, reading what you write. The board will be checked regularly, if I find anything offensive or insensitive it will be deleted.

MISSY.
From: Gilly Sent: 30/10/2005 17:02
Thankyou missy for bringing this very sensitive issue into the spotlight for us all to debate, and share, and hopefully and prayerfully,it will help all of us to have a greater understanding of depression.
Depression is as common as the 'common cold'. It affects all of us at some time in our lives to one extent or another, ranging from very mild to the extreme where it can overwhelm to the point where our very lives are paralyzed. Certain stages of this type of depression can be too dark and too empty to do anything for oneself at all.
Perhaps for those of us who have been fortunate enough to not have found themselves in this position so far, it would be of help to understand the feelings of one who is suffering;
One of the very worst things in deepest depression and despair is the utter loneliness. The devastating feeling of total alienation from every other living thing in the universe. The intense mental pain and anxiety of isolation divides depression and and despair from much less painful experiences of difficulty and sadness that all of us suffer from time to time. But the dividing line is thin.
Some depressed people are able to carry on with a relatively normal life. For others, certain stages of depression are too dark and too empty for them to do anything at all. Some people can manage a few things for self survival, such as eating and drinking, some have ceased to even do that....their only feeling that they can be sure of is that they are very, very alone. It is the darkest abyss of depression. The pit. The bell jar. Hell. The bottom of the deepest cliff at midnight. The tide is coming in and there is no escape. Thoughts run ramshackle through their mind......'I don't deserve to be loved....It was all my fault....I feel guilty....Ashamed......Hopeless....Useless....Stupid....A fraud....People are laughing at me, and I feel so afraid.....I know I'm no good.....In the depths of the night, fear grips my heart......It paralyzes my mind'.
Many will ask, 'but surely it is not possible for a Christian to feel this way? How can that be? A depressed Christian? The very words are contradictory. If a person has truly been born of the Spirit, and certainly if he has been filled with the Spirit, then shouldn't it be impossible for him to be depressed?
But yes Christians too are equally affected, there are no divisions as the biographies of the Saints bare witness. Have you read some of David's Psalms recently, or Job or Lamentations?........( Please go to the Prayers for depressed thread for uplifting Scripture).
For now, it is sufficient to realise that no one is exempt but that there is hope for all.
Even the deepest depression does not last forever.....and there is a lot of help and support along the way.
In your 'aloneness', please remember that no one has to be alone....there is much help and support we can all bring to each other. There are many causes for depression, and if you recognise that perhaps you are feeling depressed, find someone to talk to about how you are feeling. It is always wise to speak with your doctor first as often a biological imbalance may be the cause and can easily be rectified with a short course of anti-depressants, Frequently, however there are deeper roots. Depression can also be seen as 'anger, turned inwards'. Perhaps there may be unresloved areas of conflict in your life at an earlier age that it would be helpful to talk about.
The important thing you can do for yourself to help you confront your depression and deal with it.....is to find someone who you can trust to share your story with.
Above all have hope and patience as we all share and grow through exploring our own understandings about depression. Remind yourselves constantly and affirm......God loves me. God wants the very best for me.
1Kings19 give us some insight into how God treated Elijah's depression. First God made sure that Elijah had enough sleep and enough to eat. Lack of sleep and improper diet are often contributory causes of depression. Second, God waited until Elijah was well rested before He confronted him with the question, 'What doest thou here?' Make sure the person has had enough food and rest before trying to explore basic causes.. Third, God encouraged Elijah to talk about his problem and ventilate his feelings. Please when coming alongside to minister be a good listener as they vent their feelings. Fourth, God gave Elijah a special task to complete for him. In the midst of our own despair find a way to be involved in doing something for others. Not at first when you are unable to barely see to your own needs, but as the mask lifts and hope is firmly entrenched it helps to focus on the needs of others rather than oneself.
May God's hope of a future be with us all. He is our constant companion, and helps us to bear all our sorrows. Im Him we place our trust.

'Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with
My righteous hand'. Isaiah41v10

From: Dunggate
Depression affects millions of people.
And is nothing to be ashamed of, you may feel is a sign of weakness.
Because depression is viewed as negative,
many Christians who suffer from depression
have come to believe that something is wrong with them
because of the depressed feelings.
After all, they are taught to believe,
Christians are joyful.
Therefore, if you are not filled with joy,
there's something wrong with your relationship with God.
Not so:
I Kings 19 describes the experience of Elijah-
the same Elijah who in the previous chapter single-handedly killed 450 Baal priests.
When Queen Jezebel heard that 450 of her priests had been slaughtered,
she put a price on Elijah's head.
He found the most pitiful lonely tree and laid down under it.
Then he asked God if he could just die (verse 4).
Does this sound like the mighty prophet of God?

Depression is often confused with unhappiness.
Depression rarely comes out of nowhere.
Some may inherit melancholic tendencies
that make them more vulnerable to depression.
A person with depression experiences great distress and is often inconsolable.
Depression may spring up many years after being supressed for a long time.
Maybe one have had to be the strong one for the family in a brievement,
and not allowed to grieve.

There are different types of depression,
and unless you have walked that path it is unkind,
to say the least,
to tell that person to snap out of it, pull your socks up, get out there and get on with it.
Some give dangerous advice and tell them they don't need the tablets,
that a doctor may have prescribed.

Nervous breakdown was the general term used for someone that have been unable to cope
and hospitalized until they were able to resume their normal daily routine.
There are many reasons for this breakdown some are:
The death of a loved one, divorce, or sudden
unemployment can trigger an emotional collapse.
Some syptoms include that a completely reasonable person can
suddenly behave in an irrational way, sometimes becoming paranoid,
extremely agitated, or even suicidal. It is impostant for all
involved to accept that a stay in the hospital is often the first
step in recovery and reversing a spiraling state of mind that could
otherwise be extremely damaging to the person.

Scientists have learned that there may be a chemical inbalance, another type.
I am no expert on the subject but having experienced depression myself I feel I am able
to enter in on some that are suffering.
I will give a brief of some things, so that others may know where I am coming from.
I experienced not being allowed to grieve the loss of my baby son.
I had to be the strong one for the family when my father died on the eve of my wedding day.
I had to be the one to hold the family together and not crack,
to appear to be OK when going through divorce,
and having to cope with a child who had to see physcologist because of the trauma.
I have always been considered the strong one, where friends and family have come to me,
When all the time I desperately wanted someone to carry me.
As a Christian it even entered my head to commit suicide, something I never thought possible.
God has been my help I will add and kept me.

There is a huge list of symptoms which maybe we can list in the messages that follow.
We need to be sensitive to the needs of others and even when we do not understand
and feel we can offer no advice and don't feel qualified.
All that is needed is to be there for them, even if they are not saying anything,
a friend who will listen when they do, hold the hand
and pray.
My advice to anyone suffering in silence DONT!
Please visit your doctor.
God bless you
Elaine.

From: Missy Sent: 24/09/2006 09:24

I know 2 and a half years ago after I had an operation Id been waiting on and we moved house etc I was put on anti-depressants. I had been feeling so low, no energy, constantly sick, couldnt eat etc.

The doctor gaves me the tablets and my mood began to lift, I stopped taking them after a few months and was fine until we had financial problems and all the old feelings came back. A lady from church advised me not to go back on the medication and I struggled on for what felt like eternity, but would only have been about a year, but a years a long time to feel low and try to keep a smiling face all the time.

Eventually I gave in and went back and got the medication and took it for 6 months, then I decided I was strong enough emotionally and as a christian to put my faith in God and Ive been fine since, Praise God!!!

I think for me it was living in a strange place and being alone a lot, but then I started a course, passed my driving test, made lots of friends and found a job. I think there are lots of things we can do to make ourselves feel better but appreciate at that time we just having got the emotionally energy to do.

Still suffer from terrible PMT though. Its a mans world, eh?

Andrea if you ever want to talk, we can arrange to add eachother to messenger?


MISSY.

From: andi-pandi0 Sent: 23/09/2006 00:29
well i was thinking bout trinity's situation. im not saying she's not a christian coz only God only truly knows her heart. i belive that wen ur born again ur filled with the Holy Spirit so u cant be possessed but u can be opressed by demons. so is some depression from hurtful situations or in some cases opressed? im not sure if im explaining myself properly here. andrea xxx

From: Gilly Sent: 22/09/2006 23:23
Hi andi pandi,.....Andrea?
why do you ask hun?
Oppression is a feeling of being pressured weighed down in your mind; persecution, physical or mental distress......being continually oppressed could make one become depressed. It depends on the context.
Hope that helps.
Sometimes we call a period of being overburdened and under emotional and spiritual stress an oppression....because God seems distant to us. It is much the same if we pray for our communities which seem to be under a cloud of oppression. So it depends on what context we are refering to.
How are you feeling now. After suffering so many of lifes major traumas in succession you are bound to feel low and depressed and weepy at times, but I feel it is mainly stress and anxiety induced depression, and the fact that you have had to remain strong for your family has not allowed you much space to grieve for your mum.
Hopefully we can get to talk sometime, meanwhile you have quoted the best remedy of all for us Christians....keep grounded in prayer and the Word....talk to God, pour out your heart to Him and let the healing tears flow. It helps.
You have overcome so much Andrea already. May God Bless you as He is now and keep you strong. Keep smiling and keep that sense of humour nurtured too. Praise God for all He is doing in your life.
Love Gilly

From: andi-pandi0 Sent: 20/09/2006 10:04
oh trinity i really feel 4 u wen i had cez and was at risk of severe post natal depression coz of the things i went thru the dr told me 2 get some1 2 have the kids a cpl of hrs a week and go 4 a walk. like that was possible. lol. it was only by the grace of God that has got me to where i am now. keep holding on hunni, i know wen life seems black and the bad feelings just wont seem 2 go away and it feels like no1 cares, Jesus is right there with you. even david a mighty man of God felt down 2. read psalm 42:5.please dont suffer in silence, even if u only come on here and just type out wot ur feeling then its some release 4 u. we all want 2 be here 4 eachother and share in each others suffering as 1 body of Christ, God bless you love andrea xxx
From: andi-pandi0 Sent: 22/09/2006 22:31
so is some depression oppression???

From: Gilly Sent: 20/09/2006 09:02
Dear Andrea,
I'm keeping you in my prayers, you are coping so well with all you have had to bare....God Bless you hun, and thanks so much for the courage to talk about it. Talking really does help but only when you are ready to. A good tip to help you understand your feelings in the middle of those worse days that everyone has in depression is to keep a little notebook by you and write down all those overwhelming feelings.
And yes, Andrea, we ALL at some time in our lives suffer from depression to varying degrees. You are not alone at all...you are in the majority...but remember no matter how bad some days seem, it will get better.
Hi trinity,
I'm sorry your doctor wasn't able to pick up on the fact that you needed to talk. When we're depressed we need a good listener....not someone who gives advice necessarily. Perhaps writing down all you wanted to talk about to your doctor will help you understand the roots of your depression when you are feeling a little stronger. Setting yourself a little goal of some exercise in the fresh air does lift your mood, but on days when you don't feel up to facing the world, that's ok too. Just find a safe warm cosy place you can retreat to when you feel low, rest and prayer is beneficial.
There is a lot of help out there too which is accessible which is why I'm amazed your doctor did not recommend counselling. Do take a look in your local phone directory and seek out a good Christian Counsellor or counselling centre. There are some excellent counsellors out there who will come alongside and listen as you take your suffering to the Lord.
Keep talking everyone on this subject....it is so good to talk and share.
Let everyone who has gone through depression say Amen.
Amen!
Gilly

From: andi-pandi0 Sent: 18/09/2006 16:12
i understand some people dont understand depression or maybe just think its an imbalnce in the brain but it isnt always. iv always had some kind of depression ( i think coz of the way my dad treated us) and i drifted into a bad marriage. while pregnant with my second child my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer. seeing my mum die was a very traumatic experience and my husband was less than sypathetic. 2months later whilst i was 8 mionths preg he decided he was leaving me. i had 2 cope with my mums death, my husband leaving me ( he stll wont admit 4 the barmaid lol) and a 2 yr old who's behaviour was traumatic on its own.lol. and then about 4 weeks later a new baby who suffered colic. those cpl of months of going thru all that has had an amazing effect on my life on the one hand my depression can be very bad and my lovely new hubby doesnt know how to handle me but on the other hand PRAISE THE LORD coz thats how i got saved.

From: Missy Sent: 19/09/2006 14:50
Well Andrea, Ive always said God will put us through difficult times to bring us to where he wants us to be.

Thank you for sharing with us, we can all suffer from depression although we may at times feel guilty or less of a christian for doing so.

I should think we have all suffered with it or at least known someone who has, its a very sensitive topic and I just hope as Lane says people will think before they post.

MISSY.
From: trevor_of_bude Sent: 19/09/2006 17:41
there is a programme on BBC tonight dealing with manic depression and I hope to see it as we had a lady in our fellowship who suffered from it but couldnt cope.

trevor
From: andi-pandi0 Sent: 19/09/2006 21:18
i knew i hd depression but didnt fully get how bad and i felt i couldnt tell non christians coz they would wonder why if i had Jesus. well i believe God is working on my depression with me and i been learning its not anything 2 be ashamed of, infact didnt paul say he delights in his weaknesses? well this is my weakness (1 of them anyway. lol) does any1 else get depression?
From: tŕiהĩŧў Sent: 19/09/2006 23:49
I suffer from depression, lately things have got me down a lot and i find it hard to talk to people about things. I went to the doctor about something else last week but thought i would try to talk about the things that are getting me down. She sat there with her arms folded and a blank expression on her face until i stopped crying, then told me to get some exercise to lift my mood. So i understand how hard it is to deal with depression and how peple can fob you off, its so hard for me to tell people my problems etc, im so shy and i get flustered easily and that makes me cry.
If id known the doctor would have treated me like she did i wouldnt have gone in the first place, it took a lot of courage for me to say something was wrong, and now i know its going to take me a very long time to feel able to open up to anyone again.
I know what its like to be depressed, i know what its like to keep things in, and i know how it feels to humiliate yourself when asking for much needed help. Depression should be talked about more, and there should be more help which is more accessible, that way people wouldnt take their own lives or harm themselves.
Trinity

Andrea have asked in Chat room and Question Thread can we Do a post on Depression.

Often Christians are mislead by well meaning people to believe that there may be some unconfessed sin in their lives why they should be depressed.
This only adds to their misery of the illness and of no help at all.
During this Focus I would ask that in our discussion we be sensitive in our postings. Remembering that they need love and understanding. We are here just to walk alongside them in their suffering, help them to bear their load most by just 'being there for them.
Please be prayerful asking God's guidance.
Elaine.