Questions and Answers By Billy Graham

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Does God Want Me to Be a Deacon?
Q: Our congregation just elected me a deacon, and while I'm honored and all that, down inside I'm nervous and not sure I'm really up to it. I even wonder if God doesn't want me to do it. Do you think I should resign? -- K.D.S. 

A: Unless you have a strong conviction that God wants you to resign, you should accept this responsibility as something He has given you. The congregation apparently felt you had the ability to serve as a deacon, and this should encourage you. 

At the same time, I'm glad you're nervous and not sure if you have the ability to do it! Why do I say this? The reason is because you need God's help to do God's work, and because of your attitude you'll be much more likely to turn to Him for the help you need. If you were brimming over with self-confidence and thought you could do this job on your own strength, then you wouldn't seek God's wisdom and ask for His help. 

Both you and your fellow church officers need God's wisdom -- and He will provide it if you seek it. Be grateful for this responsibility, and see it as an opportunity God has given you to serve both Christ and your congregation. The Bible says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you" (James 1:5). 

At the same time, don't become so preoccupied with your duties that you neglect your own spiritual growth (or your family). Paul's advice to his fellow pastor Timothy applies to anyone who has been given spiritual responsibility: "Set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity" (1 Timothy 4:12). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Why Does God Let Us Die?
Q: For over a week I sat in our local hospice house watching my elderly aunt die, and the experience has really shaken me. It suddenly came to me that someday the same thing is probably going to happen to me, and I dread it. Why do we have to die? -- Mrs. N.N. 

A: I doubt if any of us looks forward to the actual process of dying; after all, God has put within each of us a desire to live, as well as an abhorrence of pain. Even if death comes gently (as apparently was the case with your aunt), we still shrink back from it. But we also know that sometimes death comes slowly and painfully, and no one wants to experience that. 

But death is a reality, and no matter how it comes we know God has not abandoned us if we belong to Christ. More than that, we know that our experience of death is temporary, for it is only the gateway to the glorious life God has promised for us in heaven. The Bible's promise is true: Nothing "in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:39). 

Never forget that Jesus came for one reason: to tear down the barrier that separates us from God, a barrier caused by our sin. Death came into the world because of sin, and we all share in its curse. But Jesus Christ came to give us new life -- life right now, and life in heaven with God forever. 

Is this your hope? It can be, and I pray it will. By a simple act of faith turn to Jesus Christ and commit your life to Him. Then you truly will have "the hope of eternal life" (Titus 3:7). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Did God Not Want Us to Retire?
Q: For years I looked forward to retiring, and at first I really enjoyed it. Then we moved to a different part of the country. We don't know anybody here, and anyway, I feel so useless with nothing to do. Did we make a mistake by moving here? -- G.R. 

A: One reason I wanted to reprint your letter is because it illustrates a problem that's all too common, I'm afraid: Most people don't plan sufficiently for their retirement years. They may plan financially for retirement, but then fail to plan on what they're going to do with the rest of their lives. 

Did you make a mistake moving to a new part of the country? Not necessarily (although it would have been far better if you had prayed and sought God's will about your decision, as I hope you'll do in the future). But it would be a mistake for you to sit back and do nothing to change your situation. God knows your concerns and wants to help you overcome them. 

What can you do? First, seek out a church in your area that not only can help you grow spiritually, but also has programs for people your age. (You mention elsewhere in your letter that there are many retirees in your area; many local churches probably have programs to meet their needs.) Not only will you meet new friends, but you'll also be challenged to grow in your faith. 

In addition, seek opportunities for volunteer work in your new community. Your church already may offer some programs. Local hospitals or social service agencies may also depend on volunteers. Ask God to guide you; He isn't finished with you yet! The Bible says, "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people" (Galatians 6:10). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Is It Too Late For Me to Turn to God?
Q: Years ago, I decided I didn't want anything to do with God, but now I'm facing some serious health issues and I know I made a mistake. You'll probably say it's not too late to turn to God, but I have a hard time believing it. Why should I? -- Mrs. A.F. 

A: If God treated us the way we usually treat each other, then you'd be right to wonder if He'd ever forgive us. After all, we usually treat people the same way they treat us -- and if they treat us badly, we aren't likely to forgive them. 

But God isn't like this! God loves us, and even when we reject Him or even hate Him, He still loves us. This doesn't mean He is indifferent to our wrongdoing or doesn't care what we do -- because He does. Nor does it mean we won't pay a price for our wrongdoing -- because we will, both now and in eternity. The Bible's words are true: "You may be sure that your sin will find you out" (Numbers 32:23). 

But God still loves us, in spite of our sin, has promised to forgive us if we sincerely turn to Him in repentance and faith. How do we know this is true? We know it because Jesus Christ gave His life for us. Would Christ have died for your sins if God didn't want to forgive you? Of course not. 

Don't carry this burden any longer, but tell God you're sorry for the way you've rebelled against Him, and by faith ask Christ to come into your life. You can trust God's promise: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Won't God Just Laugh At Me Now?
Q: I've always had the attitude that it's best to just ignore things you can't do anything about, such as death. But now I can't ignore it, because I finally got up enough courage to go to the doctor for some pain I've been having, and he's given me six months to live. Won't God just laugh at me if I try to turn to Him now? -- Z.S. 

A: No, God won't laugh at you, scorn you, or reject you if you turn to Him, even at this late date. The Bible's words are true: "The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love" (Psalm 103:8). 

How do we know this? We know it because Jesus Christ gave His life for all kinds of people. He didn't die just for good people, or young people who have the whole of their lives ahead of them, or people who might make a major impact on society. He died for every person who needs Him -- and that includes you. In fact, if you had been the only person on earth who needed to be saved, He still would have died for you. God loves you that much! 

Far too many people, I'm afraid, do exactly what you've done: they shut out life's most important questions. But (as you've discovered) those questions can't be kept away forever. Wouldn't it have been better to face your need for God years ago, instead of leaving it until it's almost too late? 

My prayer is that you will turn to Christ for the forgiveness you need, and commit your life to Him. Then be assured that someday soon you will go to be with Him in heaven forever. Don't delay, but put your faith and trust in Christ -- for He alone gives us hope. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Does God Want Me to Go to Church?
Q: I've had three bad church experiences, and I'm not going to let myself in for another one. The problem was always people who couldn't get along with others, mainly because they wanted to be in charge and control everything. Why is that? I still believe in God, but I've had it with church. -- Mrs. K.W. 

A: Let me be honest: No church is perfect. I heard someone say once that if you ever found a perfect church, it would stop being perfect the minute you joined! 

But your letter saddened me, because no church should be this way. God doesn't want Christians to be squabbling over minor things or constantly trying to gain control over others. Instead, when Christians come together their fellowship should be marked by a deep love for each other, and a genuine focus on Christ and His will. The Bible says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" (Philippians 2:3). 

When Christians fight, the devil rejoices -- and he rejoices too when their fighting drives others away. To put it another way, the last thing Satan wants you to do is find a church where Christ is honored and you can grow in your relationship to Him! Don't become a spiritual dropout, but ask God to help you find that kind of church. The Bible says, "Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up on meeting together... but encouraging one another" (Hebrews 10:24-25). 

How will you find the right church? Make it a matter of prayer, visit churches in your area, talk with people who are already members. Don't be discouraged, but trust God to lead you to a church which not only doesn't have these problems, but also will welcome you with love and joy. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
How Can Salvation Be a 'Free Gift'?
Q: I've noticed several times in your column that you say salvation is a "free gift" from God. Does this mean I don't have to be good in order to go to heaven? That doesn't seem right. -- M.D. 

A: Certainly the Bible commands us to live good lives; if we don't, it may indicate we don't belong to Christ after all. Jesus said, "Let your light so shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven" (Matthew 5:16). 

But we don't do good works in order to impress God so He'll reward us with salvation! You see, no matter how good we are, we can never be good enough to win our way into heaven, because God's standard is nothing less than perfection. In other words, if we broke just one of God's laws, we still wouldn't be pure enough to win God's favor. And yet we've all broken His laws, frequently and repeatedly. As the Bible says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). 

Does this mean we have no hope? No, not at all -- because God has done for us what we could never do for ourselves. What did He do? He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to pay the price for our salvation. He was perfect and without sin, but on the cross, all our sins were transferred to Him, and He took upon Himself the judgment that you and I deserve. 

Now God offers us salvation as a free gift -- free, because Jesus Christ has already paid for it by dying in our place. By a simple prayer of faith receive that gift today by asking Christ to come into your life. You'll never regret it. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
How Did Religion Get Started?
Q: I'm taking a class on world religions at our local community college, and one of the topics we've been discussing is how religion got started. Where do you think it came from? -- Mrs. J.B.P. 

A: According to the Bible, from the very beginning people knew that God existed and worshipped Him. Adam and Eve knew God and had close fellowship with Him -- until they sinned, and then "they hid from the Lord God" (Genesis 3:8). 

Over time, people lost sight of God and their understanding of God became corrupted. Instead of worshipping the one sovereign God of the universe, people came to believe in many gods and goddesses. They also made idols that represented these deities, and came to worship them -- although they had made them with their own hands. But down inside they still sensed there must be "something" greater than themselves, and no tribe or other group has ever been found that didn't have some type of religious belief. 

Where, then, does religion come from? It comes from within -- from a deep yearning within every one of us to know God. But where did that yearning come from? The answer is simple, and yet it's also very profound: God put it there. God loves us and wants us to know Him, and He put within us a deep desire to seek Him. The Bible says that God did this "so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him" (Acts 17:27). 

My prayer is that you, too, will seek God -- and that you will find Him by turning to the only one who can satisfy our deepest hunger for God: Jesus Christ. Jesus' words are true: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Does God Care How Much I Drink?
Q: I wish my wife would quit getting after me just because I like a few drinks after work. She says I'm an alcoholic and need to get into a treatment program, but I can stop any time I want to. Why does she keep harping on this? She's going to break up our marriage if she isn't careful. -- J. McN.

A: Did it ever occur to you that your wife sees something about you that you don't see -- namely, that alcohol has you in its grip, and you can't free yourself from it on your own? Yes, you say you can stop any time you want, but if that's true, why don't you?

I also hope you'll ask yourself why she keeps getting after you, even if it irritates you. She does this because she loves you, and she knows that your life -- including your marriage -- is gradually being destroyed by alcohol. She loves you so much that she's even willing to endure your anger. Instead of being upset, you should be grateful for her love and concern. The Bible says, "Wounds from a friend can be trusted" (Proverbs 27:6).

Face honestly what alcohol has become to you: something you think is a friend, but in reality is an enemy. Then face your fears, swallow your pride and admit you need help for your problem. If you refuse, you may lose everything that's worthwhile -- even life itself. The Bible's warning about alcohol is true: "In the end it bites like a snake and poisons like a viper" (Proverbs 23:32).

Most of all, I urge you to turn to God for the help you need. Christ can do what alcohol will never do, by filling the empty places in your life and giving you a new reason for living. Turn to Him today.

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Are There People Who Don't Believe in God?
Q: Have you ever met anyone who absolutely did not believe in God? I've met some people who claimed to be atheists, but after talking with them I decided they only said they were atheists because they thought it made them sound smart. -- M.G. 

A: Yes, over the years I've met some people who not only claimed to be atheists, but also sincerely believed that God did not exist. 

But notice that I said they "believed" God didn't exist -- because if they were honest, they had to admit to me that they couldn't prove it. The best they could do was say that they had never found Him. But what if they'd been looking in the wrong place, or in the wrong way? In other words, atheism is based not on facts, but on faith -- a faith that God doesn't exist. 

Like you, I've found that some people who claimed they didn't believe in God weren't really sincere; they just thought it made them sound smarter than people who believe in God. But more often, I've found, they didn't believe in God simply because they didn't want to -- because they wanted to be free to run their own lives. 

The Bible warns, "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God'" (Psalm 14:1). Why does the Bible say an atheist is a fool? One reason is because someday every one of us will die and meet God, and they will be left without hope. But the Bible also says atheists are foolish because God has done everything possible to reveal Himself to us. He did this most of all by becoming a man: Jesus Christ. Do you want to know not only that God exists, but also shat He loves you? Look at Christ. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Is There Any Way To Be Sure There's a God?
Q: Sometimes I really believe in God, but then my belief fades and I end up thinking that maybe I just talked myself into believing, and that God doesn't exist after all. Is there any way to be sure? -- A.P. 

A: The most important thing I can tell you is that God doesn't want you to have a shaky, insecure faith. He wants you to know beyond all doubt that He exists -- and not only that He exists, but that you can know Him and have a personal relationship with Him. 

How is this possible? It's possible because God did something that staggers our imagination: He became a man. That man was Jesus Christ, and one reason He left heaven and came into the world was so we could know what God is like. He proved He was God by doing something no one else had ever done, or ever will do: He conquered death's power and came back from the grave. 

Do you want to know what God is like? Look at Jesus Christ as He is found in the Gospels of the New Testament. And when you do, you'll discover not only that God exists, but that He loves you and has opened the way for you to be with Him in heaven forever. The Bible says, "No one has ever seen God, but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known" (John 1:18). 

By a simple prayer of faith confess your doubts and your sins to God, and then ask Jesus Christ to come into your life -- and He will. The Bible says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Does God Punish Us With Bad Things Happening To Us?
Q: When something bad happens to us, is it because God is punishing us? My husband is dying of cancer, and I can't help but wonder if God is punishing us, since we've never gone to church or been religious or anything. -- Mrs. A. McF. 

A: Sometimes bad things do happen to us because we've chosen to disobey God and do things that are clearly harmful. For example, someone who deliberately ignores God's moral laws and becomes wildly promiscuous may pay a terrible price by contracting a sexually transmitted disease. 

But don't misunderstand me; most of the bad things that happen to us aren't a result of God's punishment. In fact, only rarely can we trace any connection. The world is imperfect and infected with all kinds of evil -- and we are part of it. No matter who we are, we'll all experience bad things in life. Job discovered this; he loved God and was a man of great faith, yet he went through terrible suffering. Later he wrote, "Man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward" (Job 5:7). 

The real question for you and your husband, however, is this: What does God want you to do right now? So far, you've left God out of your life, but why leave Him out any longer? Someday soon, your husband will die and enter eternity, and right now he isn't prepared for that momentous day. 

But he can be! God loves you both, and the proof is that He sent His only Son, Jesus Christ, into the world to die for your sins. He took upon Himself the judgment you deserve -- and now He offers you salvation as a free gift. Accept that gift today, by turning to Jesus and committing your life and your future into His hands. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Why Did God Put Me in This Godless Place?
Q: My parents moved this summer, and that meant I've had to go to a new high school. But I'm really lonely, because most of the kids here are into things I don't agree with. Some even call me a "Jesus freak" because of my faith. Why did God put me here? -- R.J.

A: Let me ask you a question: Did Jesus stay back in your old school when you moved, or did He come with you? I think you know the answer: When we belong to Him, He is with us no matter where we are. Learn to trust His promise: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).

Why did God put you there? I don't know all the reasons, but I can suggest two. First, God put you there to stretch your faith and make you a stronger Christian. Just as our muscles need to be exercised in order to become strong, so our spiritual "muscles" need exercise if we're to become spiritually strong. Don't give in, but ask God to help you grow stronger in your faith. And you will, as you see Him work in your life.

But God also put you there to be a witness for Him. Every day you meet people who don't know Christ, and may never have thought about Him. Pray for them, and ask God to use you to point them to Jesus. Jesus said, "You are the light of the world" (Matthew 5:14).

At the beginning of each day, commit it to Christ, asking Him to help you and make you an example of His love. Ask Him also to lead you to others in your school who know Christ and can be your friends. You need them, and they need you. God bless you.

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Who Makes the Best Example Other Than Jesus?
Q: If you could point to just one person in the Bible (other than Jesus) as a good example for people to follow, who would it be? Most of the people I've read about in the Bible seem to be a mixture of good and bad. -- D.C.

A: You're right; even the most dedicated men and women in the Bible had their faults and weren't perfect. As the Bible says, "There is no one righteous, not even one" (Romans 3:10). Those words were true of them, just as they are true of us.

Only one man was perfect -- and that was Jesus Christ. This wasn't because He tried harder than anyone else, or because He withdrew into the wilderness so no one could tempt Him. No, Jesus Christ was perfect for one reason: He was God in human flesh. And just as God is pure and without sin, so Jesus Christ was pure and without sin. As the Bible says, Jesus "has been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet he did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15).

At the same time, learn from the men and women you meet in the Bible. They often lived in difficult times, and their faith and love of God should be an example and encouragement to us. Learn from their failures also. The Bible says, "These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us" (1 Corinthians 10:11).

But most of all, make it your goal to live for Christ and be His follower. Begin your journey today by turning to Christ and confessing your sins to Him, and then by faith asking Him to come into your life and make you His child forever. Your life will never be the same.

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Why Did God Let Us Be Such Bad Parents?
Q: I don't know what we did to be such bad parents. Our son (who's 26) is constantly getting into trouble -- writing bad checks, not paying his bills, etc. He always says he'll change if we'll just bail him out one more time, but he never does. Where did we go wrong? -- Mrs. T.F.

A: Your son alone is responsible for his actions; he can't blame you for what he does, nor should you blame yourself or feel guilty because of his failures. Job declared, "If it is true that I have gone astray, my error remains my concern alone" (Job 19:4).

Does this mean it doesn't matter how we raise our children? No, of course not. Children learn from us how to live, both from our words and our example. When we fail as parents, our children may be more likely to ignore what is right and do what is wrong. And if we've failed as parents, we need to face it and confess it to God (and sometimes to our children). The Bible says, "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

The real question you face, however, is this: How can you help your son right now? Can you do anything to teach him to be more responsible? Hard as it may be for you, the best thing you can do is not bail him out, but force him to face the consequences of his actions. He probably won't change if he thinks you'll always be there to bail him out.

Then pray for him, and urge him to turn his life over to Jesus Christ. Right now, he's selfish and undisciplined, but God loves him, and his life will never be the same once he gives it to Christ.

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Does God Reward a Sunny Outlook?
Q: My aunt believes that if you just have a sunny outlook on life you'll be healthy and almost never get sick. It seems to work for her, but is she just kidding herself? I have a hard time being optimistic with all the problems I have. -- J.N.

A: Modern medicine has confirmed something the Bible said long ago: Our minds and our bodies are closely connected, and what affects one often affects the other. The Bible says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" (Proverbs 17:22).

I often think in this connection of King David, and what happened to him after he did something that was terribly wrong. As a young man, he was faithful to God and sought to do what was right. But as the years passed, he went through what we today might call a "midlife crisis," ignoring his responsibilities and losing sight of God's moral standards. He ended up committing adultery, then tried to cover it up by ordering the death of the woman's husband. But guilt ate away at his soul -- and also at his body. Only after he confessed his sin and sought God's forgiveness was his burden lifted. Later, he wrote, "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long" (Psalm 32:3).

Having an optimistic attitude certainly may help us stay healthy (although sickness and disease can still strike). But how can we stay optimistic, particularly when life's problems press down upon us?

The key is to turn our problems -- and our lives -- over to Jesus Christ. When we know Him, we no longer carry our burdens alone. The Bible's promise is true: "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you" (Psalm 55:22).

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Can God Help Our Daughter?
Q: Our daughter's husband walked out on her and it's really been hard, especially since she has two small children and has to work. We'd like to help somehow, but we've not had the best of relationships with our daughter (especially since we urged her not to marry this man), and we don't know what to do. Any suggestions? -- Mrs. K.W.W.

A: Almost nothing is harder than being a single parent, and my heart goes out to your daughter and to all who find themselves in this situation. I hope churches will do more to reach out and welcome those who are single parents (both men and women).

It's not only hard physically and financially for your daughter, but emotionally, also, as she faces the trauma of divorce. All too often today we think divorce is a quick and easy solution to a difficult marriage, but it seldom is. The feelings of hurt, rejection and bitterness that often accompany divorce create wounds that may take years to heal -- if ever. No wonder God has said, "'The man who hates and divorces his wife... does violence to the one he should protect.' ... So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful" (Malachi 2:16).

What can you do? Frankly, it may be difficult to bridge the gap between you and your daughter because of what you once did; perhaps others will learn from your experience. Do all you can, however, to let your daughter know you love her and want to help her. Don't bring up the past; you can't change it, and dredging up what you see as your daughter's mistakes will only cause more hurt.

In addition, suggest some practical ways you might help her -- keeping the children occasionally, doing her laundry, taking her a meal, etc. Pray for her, also, that she will turn to Christ and learn to give her burdens and cares to Him.

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Why Did God Let Me Movie to The City?
Q: I got a new job and moved to a big city because I thought it would be exciting to be around so much activity, but I've never been so lonely. I haven't made even one friend here. Why did God let me make such a big mistake? -- Z.P.

A: Did you honestly seek God's will and ask Him to guide you before you made the decision to move? Or did you simply go ahead and make this decision on your own, and hope that somehow God would bless it?

Only you can answer this, of course -- but I hope you will, because it could keep you from making the same mistake in the future. You see, God loves you; He made you and put you here, and He deeply cares what happens to you. That's why you can turn to Him and seek His will as you make decisions, instead of trying to impose your will on Him. The Bible says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes" (Proverbs 3:5-7).

What should you do now? First, if you have never done so, turn to Jesus Christ and put your life into His hands. When you do, God Himself will come to live within you by His Spirit, and He will make you a member of His family forever. When we know Christ, we are never alone, because He is with us.

Then ask God to lead you to a church in your city where Christ is preached and lived. Not only will you grow in your faith, but you'll meet others who love God and want to be your friends.

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Have Religious Cults Lost Their Appeal?
Q: We used to hear a lot about cults, but it seems like we don't hear much about them anymore. Have they lost their appeal and aren't much of a problem now? -- Mrs. A.U. 

A: Some cults do seem to have lost their appeal, perhaps because of bad publicity or because their leader died. (Cults often depend on the personality of a strong leader to hold them together, and once that leader dies his followers often drift away.) 

But other cults are just as active as ever, and new ones are being formed all the time. Why is this? Down inside, we all have an empty place in our souls that only God can fill. But when we ignore Him, we try to fill that empty place in other ways -- and one of the ways some people try to fill it is with false religion. As our society grows more secular, we may find more and more people turning toward cults -- because materialism and secularism leave our souls empty. 

Don't be led astray by those who claim to know the truth, but in reality have turned their backs on the truth God has given us in Jesus Christ. Instead, make sure of your commitment to Him, and build your life on His Word, the Bible. The Bible warns of a time when "evildoers and imposters will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived" (2 Timothy 3:13). 

In addition, pray for those in our society who do not know Christ, and are vulnerable to the appeal of cults. God has given us the truth; may we do everything we can to share it with others. Jesus' words are true: "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Will God Forgive Me for Drug Dealing?
Q: I know you say God will forgive every sin we've ever committed, but you don't know what I've done. I'm in prison for drug dealing, and I know I probably messed up thousands of lives before I got caught. I can't even forgive myself, let alone think God might forgive me. I feel so guilty. -- S. McL. 

A: What you did was terrible; God doesn't take it lightly, and neither should you. Illegal drugs cause immeasurable harm in our society, and no one creates more devastation than a drug dealer. One reason I've reprinted your letter is because I hope it will stop others from going down that road. 

And yet one of the Bible's greatest truths is that God is willing to forgive every sin we've ever committed -- no matter how horrible it was or how much hurt it caused. This, after all, is why Jesus Christ came into the world -- to make our forgiveness possible. Jesus didn't come just to tell us how to live; He came to die as the perfect and final sacrifice for our sins. Think of it: He took upon Himself the penalty for every sin you and I ever committed -- without exception! 

I often think in this regard of the Apostle Paul. At one time, he hated people who followed Jesus, and his efforts often led to their imprisonment and death. But then he met Christ -- and God forgave him. Later he wrote, "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners -- of whom I am the worst" (1 Timothy 1:15). 

Don't delay, but repent of your sins and by faith put your life into Christ's hands. He came to take away your guilt and heal your soul -- beginning today. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Did God Help Cure My Cousin's Cancer as Much as the Doctor?
Q: My cousin just had successful cancer surgery, but when I talked with her about it she gave all the credit to her doctors. God's help and the prayers of others didn't even seem to enter into her thinking. Shouldn't she be grateful to God, as well as her doctors? -- Mrs. T.L. 

A: Yes, of course she should -- because without God's help, she would not have had the same outcome. One of the best-loved Psalms declares, "Even though I walk through the darkest valley... you are with me" (Psalm 23:4). 

Why do I say God was helping her -- even if she didn't realize it? First, God gave the doctors their skills, and He also gave them the wisdom they needed to deal with her illness. In addition, God worked in response to the prayers of others. God also made our bodies, and He designed them so they could heal in response to the right medicines. The Psalmist's words should echo in each of our hearts: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 139:14). 

Gratitude, I'm afraid, is the missing ingredient in too many lives -- gratitude to God for His goodness; gratitude for His care for us; gratitude for every gift He gives us. Thanksgiving shouldn't be just a once-a-year celebration! The Bible says, "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:18). 

Pray for your cousin, that she may realize just how good God has been to her. Most of all, pray that she will realize her need to put her life into His hands by committing herself to Jesus Christ. Some day -- like all of us -- she will die and enter eternity. May she do so with Christ in her heart.

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Will God Fix Our Marriage?
Q: I don't know why my wife and I ever got married because we're so different. All we do is pull and tug at each other, trying to get the other person to change. But I know now that it's not going to happen. Is there any hope for our marriage? -- D.G. 

A: Yes, there is hope for your marriage -- and not just for its survival, but for its happiness and joy. And with God's help it can happen. God's original reason for marriage is still valid: "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Genesis 2:18). 

Your marriage probably won't survive, however, if it remains a constant tug of war, with each of you spending all your energy trying to get your spouse to change. The harder you try to make that happen, the less likely it becomes, because it only gets the other person upset and more determined to get you to change. The Bible wisely says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" (Proverbs 15:1). 

But what if you spent the same amount of energy trying to please your spouse? What if you gave up trying to make her conform to your will, and learned instead to compromise? That's the way of true love -- love that seeks what is best for the other person, instead of seeking to gain an advantage over them. The Bible says, "Love is patient, love is kind.... It is not proud.... it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs" (1 Corinthians 13:4--5). 

Is this possible? Yes, when you make Christ the center of your marriage and your life. Together ask Him to come into your lives, and then ask Him to fill you with His love. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Will God Help Me Change?
Q: God must be very disappointed in me because I keep making resolutions to become a better person, and then the next thing I know I've broken them. The harder I try, the more I fail, and then I feel overwhelmed with guilt. Why can't I change? -- S. McC. 

A: You aren't alone; almost everyone has tried to become a better person -- and failed. The reason is simple (although we hate to admit it): Within ourselves, we don't have the moral and spiritual strength we need to become the people we ought to be. We need God's help -- and when we turn in faith to Him, He will help us. 

But let me ask you a question: Why do you want to become a better person? Is it simply because you hope your life will be happier, or other people may like you more? Perhaps so, and this isn't necessarily wrong. When we live the way God wants us to live, our lives are fuller and happier. 

But I can't help but wonder if you have another reason: By becoming a better person, you hope you'll win a place in heaven. In other words, you hope God will reward you for your good works by letting you into heaven. But listen: No matter how good we are, we will never be good enough -- and the reason is because God's standard is nothing less than perfection. 

This is why we need Christ, for by His death on the cross He fully paid the price for our salvation -- a price we could never pay ourselves. By a simple prayer of faith commit your life to Him. The Bible says, "It is by grace you have been saved, through faith... not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Will God Help My 'High Maintenance' Sister-In-Law?
Q: I guess you'd say my sister-in-law is kind of "high maintenance." She's always calling me because she's gotten her feelings hurt by what someone said or did (or didn't do) to her. How can I help her? I get tired of just being a convenient shoulder for her to cry on. -- Mrs. V.J. 

A: Although it may be tiresome for you, in reality you're already helping your sister-in-law by being a good listener, and I hope you won't stop. The Bible says, "We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves" (Romans 15:1). 

At the same time, ask God to give you the wisdom to help her become a stronger person, both emotionally and spiritually. I'm not a psychologist, of course, but she's probably a very insecure person who has little confidence in herself, and as a result she is easily hurt by what others say or do. She may even assume others are tearing her down when in reality they aren't (although it's probably hard to convince her of this). Such people can easily become focused only on themselves and their needs, and have a hard time thinking of others and their needs. 

What can you do? First, let your sister-in-law know you care about her and accept her just as she is (which, after all, is how God looks on us). Then ask God to help you encourage her to think of others and how she can help them. The Bible says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11). 

Most of all, encourage her to see herself the way God sees her -- as someone who is deeply loved and valuable in His sight. And this will happen as she opens her heart and life to Jesus Christ. 

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Are People Destined to Be Bad?
Q: Do you think some people are just destined to be bad, and no matter what happens they'll always do what's wrong? I'm a policeman, and I've often wondered about this because it seems like I keep seeing the same people over and over. -- K.W.

A: On the surface, it certainly may seem this way; a young person who starts out on the wrong road in life often stays on it, at least until something (or someone) intervenes to help them change.

But the Bible reminds us of a very important truth: God is able to change the heart of the most rebellious person, even a hardened criminal. Not long ago, I met the warden of one of our toughest prisons, and I was thrilled by the stories he told of prisoners whose lives had been changed because of their commitment to Jesus Christ.

But it's true not just with hardened criminals. God is in the business of changing lives -- and it happens all the time. Not every person who's on the wrong road will repent of their sins and follow Christ, but some will. King Manasseh was the most evil ruler God's people ever had, but eventually he repented of his sins and his life was changed. The Bible says, "The Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea" (2 Chronicles 33:13).

Your work is difficult, and at times I'm sure it's discouraging. But don't become cynical, and don't just focus on those people you can't seem to help. Instead, see your job as a responsibility from God, and every day ask Him to use you to make a difference in someone's life. The Bible says, "Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise" (Proverbs 19:20).

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency
Will God Help Me Be a Good Parent?
Q: I always vowed I wouldn't be like my parents, who were very angry and abusive toward my brother and me. But now I sometimes find myself losing control with my own children. I hate myself afterward, but why do I act this way? -- D.F.

A: This is a serious problem, and I'm thankful you realize it and want to do something about it. You love your family, and it would be tragic to see you repeat the same mistakes your parents made. God certainly doesn't want you to do that.

I'm not a psychologist, of course (and it may be good for you to find a trained counselor who can help you sort through your problems). But I suspect one reason you act this way is because you grew up with a lot of anger and frustration over the way you were treated. But you never learned how to deal with it; in fact, you probably just tried to push it aside.

But now when things don't go your way, that hidden anger erupts -- even against people you love. Until you learn to deal with your past, you'll always be in danger of letting these things burst forth. The Bible warns, "Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control" (Proverbs 25:28).

What can you do? First -- hard as it may seem -- ask God to help you forgive your parents, and to let go of your hurts and resentments. Then turn your life over to Jesus Christ, confessing your sins and trusting Him to forgive you and help you and fill you with His love. Christ can take away the poisons of the past and replace them with His love and strength. The Bible says, "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs" (Proverbs 10:12).

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Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association: www.billygraham.org.

(c)2013 BILLY GRAHAM DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.